A Bad Start To The Day
“Are you guys ready to go?” Dad shouted down the stairs to me. “Do we have to go?” I boomed back with a huge yawn that felt like an enormous black hole opening in space. My eyes were so droopy it felt like weights were attached to them. I tried to pick up my toothbrush but I couldn’t as my arms were as sloppy as an elephant’s trunk. When I finally got hold of my toothbrush I started brushing my disgusting teeth. But then I realised my eyes were as red as burning hot fire! I walked down the stairs like a turtle pushing a giant rock. Suddenly I couldn’t move... Am I paralyzed? I thought to myself. “Let’s go” my dad shouted. This is the most tiring start ever!
Stacy's Comment:Great work Johann, I really like the image of a turtle pushing a rock! You have tried to use a range of sentence starters, well done! Remember to re-read your work aloud and edit more carefully next time.
My Reflection:I think that I have use some very good similes. I need to improve on editing probably.